Drunkard Raptors

In the jungles of Isla Sorna, a slender green shape pushed its way through a dense patch of foliage, making much more noise than was strictly necessary, the raptor humming happily to herself, seemingly oblivious to the fact that other more dangerous creatures might easily hear her. She had just recently left one of the old, broken down laboratory buildings at the outskirts of the human compound, in which she had come across a canister of bubbling ice blue liquid that, she quickly discovered, tasted delightful. A small amount of it was still visible dripping down her lower jaw. As she finally stomped her way ungracefully into a small clearing, the raptor came to a halt and tilted her head skyward, spreading her arms wide as she broadcasted to the sky the song she had been humming. “Ooooooooooh, I was walkin’ through the woods one day, in the very merry month of May!” Her balance wavering, she slumped against the closest tree for support. “I was taken by surprise by a pair of glowing eyes, and I never lived to see another DAAAAAAAY!”

As she finished the last words of the song, her voice inexplicably rose an octave, the high note screeching out across the clearing and beyond, scaring some nearby birds from their perch, and surely alerting every creature within a half-mile radius of her presence. Within seconds, a rustling sound to her side caused the raptor’s head to snap around, her eyes staring, slightly unfocused, at a spot in the leaves where a familiar slate gray snout had poked into view, her brother’s yellow gaze betraying his horror. “Good grief Sy, what’s with the racket? Are you alright? Where in the world have you been?” Rhojis cried, leaping out of the vegetation in time to grab his sister’s arm as she let go of the tree, swaying dangerously. “I was over yonder at the funny human place. Y’know, they have the most delicious colorful… stuff there. You should try it. Just go that way, you can’t miss it…” She gestured wildly with her free arm, failing to even remotely indicate the direction she’d actually come from. Then she turned to look the gray raptor in the eye, paused, squinting indignantly, and hissed, “Hey, whadda ya callin’ a racket? That’s a great song! Took a long time to perfect it…” “I bet it did…” Rhojis muttered, noting her chemical-stained muzzle. “You probably had to go through a whole can of that blue stuff, didn’t you?” Sylicora’s demeanor changed in an instant as she cracked a wide, loopy grin and gave an exaggerated nod that made her knees buckle. “You guessed it, brother. Hey, if you wanna try some, I’ll take you there-” “No, no, I don’t think so Sy. I think we should get back to the cave. I don’t know how we’re going to explain this to Dad though,” Rhojis hissed, looking troubled. “Oh, don’t worry about him. He won’t mind, trust me,” Sylicora hissed, giggling quietly.

Then she tilted her head back once again and shrieked to the sky, “HEY DAAAAAAAD!” Rhojis cringed. “Sy, what are you doing? You’re only going to attract the attention of-” But he was cut off by a loud bark coming from within the forest. “WHAAAAT? WHERE ARE YOU?” “OVER HERE.” “WHERE?” “HERE!” For a few seconds, the sound of heavy, uncoordinated footfalls crashing through the undergrowth came closer until, to Rhojis’ utter horror and amazement, the rusty brown figure of his father staggered into the open, the older raptor smirking and snickering uncontrollably, his face streaked with neon liquids of various colors. “GOD that stuff’s good… Sy, you just HAVE to try the purple, it’s divine… Oh, hi Rhojis. Care to join us?” The gray raptor simply stared speechlessly, thinking he must have lost the use of some critical part of his brain. Could his most recent fall off that Corythosaur on their last hunt have done more damage than he thought? “Well, whether you guys are coming or not, I’mma go back for s’more,” Beryl slurred, spinning on his heel a bit too fast. “Whoa, why’s the world moving all of a sudden? It’s not s’posed to… do that.” He hadn’t taken more than two steps toward the trees when his legs gave out and he collapsed onto the mossy earth, out cold.

The next day, Sylicora woke to find herself back in the cool dimness of their cave, Rhojis sleeping soundly nearby, the juvenile exhausted after having somehow managed to drag the other two back home the evening before. The olive raptor was the first to try to sit up, and instantly regretted it. Groaning, she sank back onto her leafy bed and raised a clawed hand to massage her aching head. But as soon as her fingers swept over the back of her neck, she sat bolt upright, blinking against the pain. “Rhojis?” she squeaked, pulling desperately at the strange growths she felt sprouting from the base of her skull. The gray raptor jerked awake and sat up. “Wha? What happened?” “You tell me!” the olive raptor squealed, crawling into the beam of sunlight shining in through the cave entrance. Rhojis’ jaw dropped and he reached up to touch the jagged green and yellow striped quills with a shaking hand. “Oh, that’s not good.” Sylicora, looking ever more mortified by the minute, clutched and scratched at her skull as if she could simply push the quills back in muttering frantically under her breath. “Nononononono. This can’t be happening! Can’t be!” “Somethin’ wrong?” croaked Beryl groggily, groaning as he tried to roll his aching body into a crouch. Sylicora let out a very un-raptorlike whine and slunk into the shadows as Beryl painfully stretched out his stiff limbs. “What in the…” he paused suddenly with one arm outstretched, staring in disbelief at three webbed fingers. Then he raised another arm. And another. And another. The two extra arms had webbing stretching from the last finger to his flank, almost like proto-wings. Then he felt a slight itching sensation run down his spine, and twisted around to look, discovering that he now had a tall row of neon purple webbed quills running the length of his body. “Oh crap,” he moaned, before passing out.